Podcast Episode 3 - How to move from perfectionism & shiny object syndrome to just DOING THE DAMN THING to get the RESULTS YOU WANT

This post is about the third episode of my podcast - How to move from perfectionism & shiny object syndrome to just DOING THE DAMN THING to get the RESULTS YOU WANT. If you like this, make sure to jump into my free VIBEY Telegram Group, where I share random RIFFS, free tips & advice for women ready to create a freedom based life & business. You can also follow my life & travels on Instagram @thefemme_ceo and DM me to say hey! PS - if you’re looking for intimate sisterhood and high touch support -  I have a 5 month Mastermind called Ascension for coaches & healers looking to scale to 6-figures and beyond. If you’re looking for year-long inspiration and mentorship, I have a year long experience called Becoming where you get access to ALL of my programs, a private Telegram community for sisterhood, AND monthly group biz Q+A sessions. I would love to connect with you now or in the future. To becoming Radiant + Rich, Laura Niese.

In this episode we cover:

• What actually is perfectionism and how you can begin to heal it
• What may be blocking you from seeing the results you want and how to shift
• A simple 3 step process you can follow to get back on track with your focus and your goals 

LISTEN TO EPISODE 3

Hello my loves and welcome back to another episode of Radiant & Rich. I’m your host Laura Niese teaching you how to create your most luxe freedom based life. 

I’m recording this on a Monday so this will be one of those “ motivation Monday” episodes that’s going to activate you and get you back on track if you feel like you’ve been feeling like you’re in a bit of a void or you’ve been putting things off or maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed and there is shiny object syndrome and you’ve lost your focus. 

What you learn from this episode you can also do with your clients!

Before I dive in, gotta give you a life update.

I have been in Melbourne Australia for 2 weeks now visiting my boyfriend and before that I was in Europe. I’ve been putting relationships at the forefront of my life + focus.  

Of course my health and fitness is always priority #1  then usually it goes business then relationships. But I am in a new city and I want to make some new girlfriends and also really enjoy this new time with my bf. I’ve never lived with him so it’s just been a little bit adjusting for me in terms of getting into a solid routine and it’s a big change going from Bali to Melbourne.

I did manage to meet some girlfriends and got invited on a day trip this past weekend. we went to Mornington Peninsula and hit up a winery and it was the most gorgeous day and was so fun! I feel really happy having met some girls as that was one of the first things I really desired to do here in Melbourne.

I just want to give you permission - I know as business owners we tend to be really hard on ourselves when business isn’t a top focus and maybe our income drops.

But that’s life.

There are always different buckets - health, relationships/family, career. You can switch buckets and put your focus somewhere else and it doesn’t have to MEAN anything. So that’s where my focus has been the past two weeks and NOWWWW I’m ready to get back on track with the business. 

So I am running a 7 week feminine energy group coaching program called Radiant and Rich (also the name of the podcast) and there was a training that I created for the women all about perfectionism. And I knewww that I had some perfectionist tendencies but after really doing more research and taking a good honest look at myself, I realized how much of a perfectionist I actually am.

So as I have been getting back on track with the biz I realized that there were a couple things that had been holding me back from seeing the results I wanted. 

This was:

1.) Perfectionism

2.) Shiny Object Syndrome or “lack of focus”

A lot of times when we aren’t making the money that we desire in our business we blame it on our money mindset. We think hmmm maybe I need a money course. 

Or we think we need a new strategy so we hire a new coach or invest in another program. 

These things can help but if you’re really struggling with perfectionism or shiny object syndrome then you may buy that new course but you don’t finish it or you start to take action on your goals but you don’t stay committed for long because you’re jumping from thing to thing without a clear goal/focus OR you don’t even start at all because what if it’s not good enough?

So. What exactly is perfectionism?

Perfectionism is alllll about trying to earn approval and acceptance.

Growing up I always got straight A’s, I was the star athlete in soccer and in basketball. I followed the rules, never got arrested, tried to fit in by wearing A+F, stay skinny. 

It’s not my parents fault - NATURALLY I was praised for my grades and my achievements and my performance.

What ends up happening is you  end up creating a SHIELD. 

This is how Brene Brown describes it. She is a legend I love her. But that’s really what it is. it’s a shield. 

Perfectionism is a SHIELD. 

When you are PERFECT in your looks and your achievements - then others can’t judge you or criticize you or blame you or shame you.

Perfectionism is a PROTECTION MECHANISM from shame (when you don’t feel good enough) and it is blocking you from stepping into your power and it’s blocking your MAGNETISM. 

Perfectionism keeps you stuck in your comfort zone and hinders your success. You’re too afraid to launch the new offer or start the podcast or start the TikTok or go live or write the email if it’s not perfect. You have a DEEP FEAR of failure or making a mistake. 

How do we combat perfectionism?

1.) The more we practice self-love and talk about our shame with others then we can start to own our imperfections.

This is why I love being in a Mastermind container because the women in the container GET IT. If one day I feel shame because I launched an offer and nobody bought it. I can share that with my MM ladies and they will pump me up and tell me they’ve been there too! 

Paying attention to our self-talk.

The difference between perfectionism online and healthy goals

Perfectionism self-talk: “Ugh. No one is liking my posts or commenting. My branding and grid aesthetic is so ugly. I need to get an NLP certification or hit $10K months to be worthy of love and belonging.

Healthy-striving self-talk: “I want this for me. I want to have a meaningful heart lead business that is making a difference in the world and that feels ALIVE and nourishing. I am worthy of success and abundance NOW. Not WHEN I get to 10k months. I want to go all in on this. I can do this! 

We have to let go of “what will THEY THINK” and instead move towards - how can I improve and be better FOR ME? 

So what did I do?

I decided to finally launch the damn podcast. I finally decided to finally start the TikTok. 

Without it being perfect. I just did it. FOR ME. Because the pain of NOT STARTING was worse than the pain of actually starting.

The thing that will make us FEEL GOOD long term is Living life at our edge. 

Often times we think that it’s going to be MORE PAINFUL to do the thing. I launch the podcast or the TikTok and then I’m not going to have any time and it’s going to be really hard work. 

 But then you look at the fact that it’s actually MORE PAINFUL to sit back and not see what you’re made of. 

For example: the pain of starting a podcast is: what if it’s not good enough and no one likes it? What if it takes too much of my time and I lose my freedom?

Okay well Let’s look at the PLEASURE of actually starting the podcast: Imagine having a community of women who absolutely love you and are inspired by you who’s lives you get to change every week. Imagine how much your confidence will grow, your influence, your mastery, your speaking skills. Your network. Imagine being consistent for 2 years and hitting 500k or 1 million downloads. 1000 lives changed. Plus an increase in your fulfillment and your happiness because you met your edge. 

You want to make the pleasure of starting something new outweighs the pain.

OKAY so podcast started. TikTok started 

NOWWWW there’s another battle. 

The battle of shiny object syndrome and not being able to keep my focus on a specific goal or stay committed to one thing for long.

I realized this was something I really struggled with. For anyone who is into human design - this can be something totally normal for Manifestor and manifesting generators. 

We typically like to master one thing and then move on to the next at lightning speed. Niches are not really a thing for manifestors or MG’s. Just throwing that out there. But consistency for me as a Manifestor is really difficult. I work in big bursts of energy on a specific project and then I need to rest until I receive an urge or a download to do something else. 

So that last 2 weeks I was running my business completely intuitively. With no real goals or anything I was working towards or even WHY I wanted those things. 

WHY did I want to achieve a certain amount of income per month or WHY did I want to go on TikTok? 

SO this part of the podcast is perfect for you if you feel like you’re navigating a void and you want to get back on track and see success.

The steps to getting back on track towards your goals. NLP STYLE babyyy. 

STEP 1. Ask yourself what are the stories you’re telling yourself about WHY you can’t do this? We have to get super honest and vulnerable with ourselves. 

For example: The TikTok:

1.) It will be too hard and take a long time to learn it

2.) Perfectionism - what if it sucks in the beginning and others don’t like it (perfectionism is a shield) I’m protecting myself from being judged or criticized or shamed

3.) Take up too much of my time

4.) Get addicted to social media. Already on IG and that takes up so much time. 

5.) starting with ZERO followers. Seems like too much of an uphill battle.

My excuses are very common. Most everyone has the same ones. They think it will be hard and take up too much time. Take time to learn, take time to grow. 

They KEY is to just do 1 small thing right now to start to build momentum. 

For the TT - I went on YouTube and watched a video on how to grow. I saved a bunch of hashtags into the notes app of my phone. I reached out to my friend on TT who has 70K followers and asked what are her fave tools. I made my first TT. From that TT I learned what I needed to do to make the next TT better. 

For the podcast: the 1 small thing I could do: Hire someone on upward for really cheap to give me the steps. Record the intro. Have my designer make the podcast cover. Record the welcome episode. Record the outré. I think what will give you the most momentum is getting the right strategy from someone who has done it before you. Hire the coach, hire the podcast editor. 

1. We chunk down instead of getting overwhelmed with the BIG PICTURE. And we take small baby steps to build momentum 

BUT THEN if you don’t have a compelling enough WHY to why you’re doing it, OR you’re not sure on what exactly you want and it’s not specific enough, then you maaaaay not stay consistent. 

If you’re like I want a $20K month but the only reason you want it is because you saw another coach online have it… it won’t be compelling enough. 

I want to launch a TikTok. WHY?! 

WHY?! It is my purpose to inspire and put myself out there so other women can be inspired to build their freedom life. By me BEING ME I inspire others. It’s fun to be creative. Creating lifestyle content feels fun and fresh. It feels good to grow a loyal community of women. Maybe from the TikTok the Instagram will grow. 

My specific Desire: I want to earn $15K in 2 weeks.  

WHY?! Because I’m going to Hawaii and I want to feel like I’m in overflow there. I want to do a helicopter ride maybe something bougie. I am also really lit up working with my clients. They inspire the hell out of me and I feel really happy when I work with aligned clients. It doesn’t feel like work we really co create magic together. It leaves me feeling fulfilled 

FIRST. GET SPECIFIC. What do you want? And WHY do you want it? 

It will be much harder to follow through and stay committed to what you want if you don’t have CLARITY on what it is you want. Know what you want and WHY you want it and make that why super super compelling. 

Once you have come up with your WHY, then you can figure out your game plan. 

THIRD STEP: Create a game plan that you’re going to stick to. 

I want to become a woman where when I say something, I mean it. It gets done. I don’t want to be someone who consistently breaks my own trust with my word and makes my word mean absolutely nothing. I want to earn trust with myself and trust with the people in my word. 

If we keep saying we are going to do something, and then we don’t do it, we train ourselves to literally not be able to trust in our own word. So you want to make a game plan you can actually stick to. 

Brainstorm 10 things you can do in order to achieve your goal. Then use your intuition with the. Top 4-5 things that FEEL best for you. Get specific with it. 

For me - BEFORE I would say I’m going to record the podcast anytime in the week. And then it wasn’t getting done. So then I’m like OKAY. MONDAYS are podcast days. 

What else will get me to the 15k?!

Well. I have to SELL in order to make money. What do I desire to sell? How do I want to sell + Where? Are there specific days I want to sell? Do I want to sell every day? 

What’s the game plan I desire to stick to that is manageable and not overwhelming?? 

Podcast Mondays

Jump into my Telegram group 2X per week with a chicken nugget of wisdom 

Email my list 4X/Week

TikTok every day so I can get good at it

These are social media habits that I desire to build into myself. 

You don’t want to make a game plan that feels overwhelming that you’re not going to stick to. 

AND you don’t want to derive your worthiness from the to do list. 

BUT I will say that the more devoted I am to the game plan, I fill up my cup first and do my morning workout and routine and then I follow the game plan. It feels pretty good. 

I love having direction. I have a rough masculine container to hold my feminine. 

I know I’m going to record a podcast episode on Mondays but I don’t know what the episode will be I’m just going to talk about what’s alive for me.

I know I’m going to create a TikTok a day but again follow my intuition with it. And maybe someday I’ll feel like batching 5. 

I have focus in what I want, I know WHY I want it, the WHY is really compelling, AND I have a game plan to stick to. 

Before I even begin to tackle the game plan, I make sure to nourish myself and fill up my cup first. If I were to wake up and immediately start tackling the game plan without FEELING GOOD first, and deriving my worth off of my productivity, that would lead to burn out. 

So you also want to create a morning ritual that allows you to feel really good and nourished before you get going on your goals. 

In review: 

The 3 steps to get you back on track towards your goals:

1.) What do you want? Make it very specific.

2.) WHY do you want it? Make it compelling.

3.) Make a game plan. Write out up to 10 ways you can reach it then intuitively star 4-5 of them that you desire to stick to.

4.) make sure that you are filling up your cup first. Make an AM ritual. 

I am going to stick to this social media game plan for myself for the next 2 weeks before I leave for Hawaii. Feel free to use it if it feels aligned for you! And Make sure to follow me on IG Stories I’ll be sharing my progress and how it’s going. 

Thanks for tuning in! See you next time. 

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